My six-year-old students must think I’m omniscient. One of them asked me whether I could “spell all the words”. He wasn’t asking about all the words in the wordlist for chapter three, or something like that; he was asking about all the words in the English language. I think I said that I can spell a lot of words but not all of them because English has so many. Imagine believing that a language has a particular number of words and no more!
Category: language
» I’ve been an avid reader all my life.
» I have a BA in Linguistics.
» I’ve studied seven foreign languages.
» I taught reading for over two years.
» I wrote a grammar curriculum.
Words are really important to me.
Short i
Two of my reading classes did the ‘i’ lesson today. I had to explain ‘chill’, ‘cliff’, ‘knit’, and ‘vanish’. At least a couple of kids in the noon class knew what a ‘vest’ was. (No, ‘vest’ doesn’t have a short ‘i’, but it is one of the words in the short ‘i’ lesson.)
I continue to be surprised by gaps in vocabulary. Plus, half the time, the gaps are gaps they don’t even know are there: when I ask what ‘knit’ was, they think it’s ‘neat’ or ‘need’. Today, they thought ‘vanish’ was ‘Spanish’ or ‘spinach’. Fake homophones abound.
Déjà vu
A few weeks ago I was looking for a book on my language shelves. I noticed a book called A Study of Writing by I. J. Gelb. Separated from it by two or three books was another book (of a slightly different age and color, but identical size) called A Study of Writing by I. J. Gelb.
I had never before noticed that there were two copies of that book, not even when I arranged the language book shelves roughly by topic.
My immediate response was to remove the older copy. And to then insert it next to its duplicate on the shelf.
Wear your shoe
Singlish:
“You need to go toilet? Okay, wear your shoe first.”
English:
“You need to go to the toilet? Okay, put on your shoes first.”
‘Wear’ is really not the same as ‘put on’, if you ask me.
Oh, and the whole reason this conversation happens is that kids don’t wear shoes inside schools and enrichment centres, much like nobody wears shoes inside houses here.
Attack of the accidental spoonerism
Once upon a time, my mom worked at a company called ESL Instruction and Consulting. She was instructed to answer incoming calls by saying, “ESL Instruction and Consulting, how can I help you?”
One day she answered the phone one day and said, “ESL Construction and Insulting…”
Why Chinese is hard
This is an articulate, entertaining, informative essay about Mandarin Chinese. You should read it if you are a Westerner living in Asia, if you are considering studying Chinese, if you liked the TV show Firefly, or if you have ever had any contact with one or more Chinese people from China. It will give you perspective.
Pinyin.info:
Why Chinese Is So Damn Hard
I was once at a luncheon with three Ph.D. students in the Chinese Department at Peking University, all native Chinese (one from Hong Kong). I happened to have a cold that day, and was trying to write a brief note to a friend canceling an appointment that day. I found that I couldn’t remember how to write the character 嚔, as in da penti 打喷嚔 “to sneeze”. I asked my three friends how to write the character, and to my surprise, all three of them simply shrugged in sheepish embarrassment.
In other words, the difficulty of the Chinese writing system makes the language hard for native speakers, too. Remember that next time you’re complaining about how ‘arbitrary’ English spelling is.
Object dropping
Singlish:
“Do you like horror movies?”
“I don’t like.”
The object is obvious, therefore there’s no need to express it.
Sometimes you even get subject dropping, too:
“Do you like horror movies?”
“Don’t like.”
English:
“Do you like horror movies?”
“No, I don’t like them.”
English (more concise alternative):
“Do you like horror movies?”
“No, I don’t.”
Here’s a rare case where English is actually more efficient than Singlish. Singlish needs at least two words, while English, arguably, only needs one:
“Do you like horror movies?”
“Nope.”
This emphasis on repeating the verb in the question comes from Chinese. There’s no universal word for ‘no’ in Chinese, though sometimes you can sensibly answer questions with “not be”, which gives the sense of “whatever you just said is not the case”.
I can read!
My current job is with one branch of a network of literacy centers called “I Can Read”. We teach phonics, reading, spelling, and eventually, grammar, including parts of speech.
A noun is a person, place, thing, or idea. An adjective describes a noun.
A verb is something you can do. Here’s how you test to see whether something is a verb:
I can… jump.
I can… think.
I can… window?
For some reason, “I can window” struck me as hilarious. What would that even mean, do you think?
Beware! Beware! A bottomless __________!
Once upon a time many years ago, my mom and I were doing Mad Libs.
Mad Libs is a game where there’s a story printed on a notebook, but some words are missing. One person tells the other person what type of word to supply. (A color, a plural noun, a profession, a verb.) Then the first person reads back the whole story using the second person’s words.
On the occasion that will live forever in memory, the story was about some kind of bad guy who kidnapped two friends. It had a line of dialogue that said something like:
“Look out! He’s pushing you towards the bottomless ______________!”
I had supplied ‘chair’, which resulted in a surprisingly sensible utterance. Yet a bottomless chair is not exactly threatening.
We laughed for ten minutes.
English spelling is crazy.
It’s been done to death, but here it is again.
Someone (though probably not the playwright George Bernard Shaw, who wrote Pygmalion, which later became a musical named My Fair Lady) joked that the word ‘fish’ can be spelled ‘ghoti’.
- Take the ‘gh’ from ‘laugh’
- Add the ‘o’ from ‘women’
- Add the ‘ti’ from ‘nation’
And you get ‘ghoti’, pronounced ‘fish’.
More details at the wikipedia page for ‘ghoti’.
